Sunday Territorian 5 Nov 2017
Sunday Territorian; NewspaperNT
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Community newspapers -- Northern Territory -- Darwin.; Australian newspapers -- Northern Territory -- Darwin.
Nationwide News Pty. Limited
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Nationwide News Pty. Limited
SUNDAY NOVEMBER 5 2017 FRONTIER 17 V1 - NTNE01Z01MA ask woody Advice from DAviD WooD to help you muddle your way through the confusing territory that comes with the Territory Dear Woody, There is so much talk about terrorism these days. Im scared for my not just myself but my whole family, plus the boys down the Dinah Beach Yacht Club. Well, really just me and the boys and the club; you can always get married again and have more kids but your mates are your mates. Anyway, I know you specialise in international relations and global politics so would have great insight into this, or at least pull something out of your arse. Are we one bad hangover away from us being blown to smithereens by Kim Jong-un? Or do you think ISIS might start recruiting in Palmghanistan for an attack on Target Country? Dear Alert and Alarmed, While terrorism is by its nature, terrifying, its nothing four hours a day worth of schooners will not fix. Thats how most Territorians deal with the terror that is their regular life: spouse; kids; mortgage; knowing that sweet, sweet death might not blow through and save them for a few years yet. But by virtue of its name, life in the Territory is terror. You simply cant spell Territory without terror. But its Terryism thats the real concern and weve had a glimpse of it. Terryism went by the name Terrance Kennedy Terry Bills. On Saturday, August 25, we entered state of Terry and for seven months we had daily attacks of pompous preaching of an ex-Christian school principal. But imagine if a group of Terrys got together? Organised Terryism. To be clear though, Kim Jong-un is a borderline a terrorist, more just your regular despot. He just wants to blow his world up for his own glory, not Gods which is how it often works and as such is quite a relief. He would be a boon for the CLP as leader. But hes not the tyrant the head of the TST (Terryist State of the Territory) would be. I want to wage war on Terryism. I just need a loudspeaker, one of those fans that strays water, some guns, 20 F-35 fighter jets and some long-grassers. But there is a bigger terror; the Sunday Terror. If this isnt an unlawful use of violence and intimidation in pursuit of political or social adjectives then nothing is. Sunday papers work by making people dumber and less able to resist. Dont you feel dumber for having read this? Does Territory etiquette have you scratching your sweaty noggin? Woody is here to help. Email your questions to email@example.com Follow Woody on Twitter @djwoodeye 22 Races in a row won by supermare Winx although she wont be vying for a Melbourne Cup win on Tuesday mainly due to her weight LEARN THE LINGO ROCK SHOCK Central Australian tourism operators checking their bank balances after the Uluru climb ends in 2019 PUMP DUMP When Territory motorists decide to stop using expensive petrol and instead fill their tanks with a more natural substance JOYCE VOICE What Aussies are wishing they could silence after the citizenship debacle I love the Territory. I know a lot of history about Darwin, being born and bred here. My favourite part about the town though are the sunsets over the ocean and the ever changing clouds patterns. Despite the heat I also enjoy playing basketball. Its really fun to play, it doesnt matter how hot it is, the weather doesnt affect me that much. THE NUMBERS GAME 90 NEW police recruits promised for the Territory, to hit the ground within six months 140 Darwins petrol price last week, cents per litre FORGOTTEN TERRITORY MILE HIGH MEMORIES Up, up and away with TAA, the friendly, friendly way ... Its a jingle firmly etched in the memories of many Territorians. For some, it was the soundtrack to their arrival in Darwin as they walked down the steps of a Trans Australian Airways (TAA) plane onto the searing heat of the tarmac. There was an outpouring of nostalgia on Facebook this week as we marked 70 years since TAA began operating in the Northern Territory, an acronym that for the unkind among us soon took on another meaning Try Another Airline. Some recalled the heavy makeup of the flight attendants, people who say enjoy your flight and make sure you do, while others confessed to still owning their TAA Junior Flyer badges. In 1986 the airline was rebranded as Australian Airlines and was eventually acquired by Qantas. STORY: Caddie Brain PICTURE: Howard Truran Collection, Northern Territory Library
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