Sunday Territorian 11 Dec 2011
Sunday Territorian; NewspaperNT
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Community newspapers -- Northern Territory -- Darwin.; Australian newspapers -- Northern Territory -- Darwin.
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Nationwide News Pty. Limited
www.sundayterritorian.com.au Sunday, December 11, 2011. Sunday Territorian. 11 W HO wears shortshorts? All the wrong people, thats who. This week Casuarina Senior College introduced a dress code for students in answer to the skimpy, buttbaring shorts girls had been getting around in. There will now be no exposed underwear, no revealing clothing, no bare midriffs and no offensive logos allowed in the classroom. Really? Kids these days need to be told not to flash their knickers? Youre going to school, not the Hookers Ball! Youre a student, not a stripper! Denim underwear is as appropriate for school as leather jackets are for the buildup. Both leave innocent bystanders and the wearer highly uncomfortable. The fact that high schoolers need direction not to display their bellies is a good argument for school uniforms, which many of the students in the story agreed was needed. As someone who grew up in the 80s, and as a survivor of such fashions as stirrup pants and Hypercolour T-shirts, in hindsight my school uniform was probably the least embarrassing item of clothing I owned. Trust me, kids, were saving you from yourselves. In a few years time youll look back and wish youd shopped somewhere other than Supre. When you hit your 30s and a friend comes across an old photo of you in a fluoro yellow jumpsuit and thinks its amusing to post it on Facebook, you will shake your head at your youthful garmental errors and wish youd overcome peer pressure and worn something in a more flattering shade and style. Oh, hang on, that was me . . . On reflection, family needs to play a part in this salvation. My mother allowing me to leave the house day after day in parachute tracksuits bordered on child abuse. Its poor parenting to allow your offspring out in public sporting shorts that somehow manage to expose both butt cheek and crack at the same time. As those most likely to be providing funds for clothes, parents are enablers in this fashion farce and they must take a stand. Sure, teens are difficult to reason with, but any mum scathed by pictorial evidence of themselves wearing a scrunchie should know better. S ICK of seeing underage victims of atrocious attire, most Territorians welcomed the new CSC dress code. Well, Id like to take it a step further and suggest a similar dress code be extended to wider society. Is there a severe mirror shortage in Darwin? I cannot leave my home without my eyes being assaulted by disgraceful fashion decisions. Im not going to delve into the depths of the male Territorian wardrobe mainly because this consists exclusively of boardshorts but lets take a look at the ladies. Given my history with parachute tracksuits, I am certainly no style guru. But there are a few basic rules that could keep everyone out of trouble. Like, dont wear pants with a circumference smaller than that of your waist. In particular, dont team such pants with a top that fails to fully conceal your torso. And just because its hot doesnt mean you should wear hot pants. Id also suggest taking comfort into consideration. If you cannot sit down in your outfit, its a bad idea. If you cant walk in your shoes, find a pair in which you can. And avoid apparel that doesnt allow you to wear underpants. Its also a good idea to consider the occasion. Theres a time and place for lowquality clothing. For example, lets take a glittery dress that looks like its been attacked by a cat from the back, exposes its wearers gluteal fold and comes treacherously close to revealing nipple. Worn on stage at Throb totally OK. Paraded through the checkouts at Coles not OK. Unless youre on your way home from Throb. Bikini at the wave pool great. Bikini at Casuarina Square fail. We should also give some thought to clothes that suit our body shape. Most of us have wobbly bits dont flaunt them. We need to be opting for outfits that conceal our muffin tops, not highlight them. Unless you have abs like Miranda Kerr, dont wear a sequined bra and low-cut pants out on the town. Actually, dont wear that regardless of your figure, you will look like a tool. There are a few items that fall into this category of needing to be shunned outright by all, no matter how hot you are. In particular, onesies or playsuits. Dont say but I have a really cute/dressy one! You dont. Be vigilant at all times to avoid these allin-one disasters. And also bodysuits. I thought Id given this firmfitting foe the flick back in the early 90s, but its cropped up again. The pressstuds in the crotch are particularly memorable, and not in a good way. CSC shouldnt be considered wowsers for their clothing crackdown they are pioneers and the rest of society should follow. P U B : NTNE-WS-DA-TE:11-DGE:11 CO-LO-R: C-M Y-K sundayterritorian.com.au OPINION Men are not good communicators when it comes to health, especially when it comes to depression, especially when it comes to cancer GINO LUGLIETTI TheMovember participant lost his father to cancer last year It seems thatwhat used to be a council that prided itself on low regulation and sticking to the basics has turned into a bureaucracy GERRYWOOD The Independent turns on Litchfield Council, which he once led Im embarrassed to be a human being DOUGCORBY TheGirraween resident tells of howhe feltwhen he found a barely alive dog that had been shot in the head and dumped at a tip When he saw the cage come upright and nice and stable again he went bugger, no opportunity NIGEL PALMER The crocwrangler tells of 750kgDenzels reaction to the Cage of Death malfunction