Territory Stories

The Northern Territory news Fri 26 Nov 2010



The Northern Territory news Fri 26 Nov 2010

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NT news


The Northern Territory news; NewspaperNT




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Community newspapers -- Northern Territory -- Darwin; Australian newspapers -- Northern Territory -- Darwin

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Nationwide News Pty. Limited

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Copyright. Made available by the publisher under licence.

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Nationwide News Pty. Limited



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22 NT NEWS. Friday, November 26, 2010. www.ntnews.com.au P U B : N T N E W S D A T E : 2 6 -N O V -2 0 1 0 P A G E : 2 2 C O L O R : C M Y K Ask Bossy ADVICE ATTITUDE OPINION with Kate de Brito ntnews@ntnews.com.auAsk Bossy ADVICE ATTITUDE OPINION with Kate de Brito ntnews@ntnews.com.au Amusical case for theACCC if ever I heard one Axl Rose of Guns N Roses DAVID PENBERTHY THERE are billboards all over Sydney right now claiming that a band by the name of Guns N Roses is playing this weekend. This is a lie. A bandylegged, lank-haired fellow dressed in spandex dacks is playing. His name is Axl Rose and he has not left the house in 20 years. There is no Slash, no Izzy Stradlin, no-one to blow the sports whistle that heralds the thumping start of Paradise City, just a few session musos and a chap who spent the past two decades penning the anti-masterwork Chinese Democracy, a concept album so crap in design and execution that it makes Roger Waters Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking seem intelligent. It is unclear whether the relevant sections of the Trade Practices Act covering false and deceptive conduct can be applied to foreign entities, but whatever the case the billboard advertising the Guns N Roses concert should bear a large asterisk reading Actual band may not match band shown. Which brings us to INXS. There are many questions you can ask about the band that should no longer be known as INXS, such as what in Gods name is going on with Kirk Pengillys facial hair, and how does he still keep pulling such attractive chicks? The biggest question is how the surviving members can claim to be the custodians of Michael Hutchences memory while also turning the lead singers spot into a take-a-number deli counter-style operation for everyone whos ever been to a karaoke bar. The initial plan after Hutch died was to bring in Jon Stevens of Noiseworks fame. Then there was a game show to replace him. At this years AFL Grand Final the band was fronted by a man who looked a bit like the jockey Darren Gauci. The boys turned up on TV the other night with Christine Anu on lead vocals. Although this was ostensibly a collaboration rather than a formal replacement, you wouldnt put anything past this lot. No-one should be surprised if pint-sized strumpet Nikki Webster is sworn in next year as the new Hutchence; alternately perhaps the guy from Regurgitator could have a crack at re-recording Shabooh Shabah in Mandarin. Its a pity Dame Joan Sutherland is no longer with us. She would have done a great rendition of Just Keep Walking. While all of the above might be music, INXS it aint, and the band would do well to retire the name out of deference to one of the greatest front men not just in Australian rock history but world rock history, rather than debasing it as stadium rock meets Red Faces. ACCC Commissioner Graeme Samuel should also turn his attention to the greatest serial offender in the false and deceptive conduct stakes, John Farnham. One of the great ironies of modern Australia is that Farnhams good friend Glenn Wheatley spent time in prison, yet Farnsy is walking around scot-free despite fleecing thousands of pensioners by holding his absolute last-ever farewell tour every 12 months. These poor old ducks dutifully turn up and sob for all the wrong reasons as Farnsy screeches out his cover of Help for the last time until the next time. It beggars belief hes not yet been charged as he is to farewell tours what the late Richard Pratt was to cardboard boxes. I know Mr Samuels is under pressure to act on bank fees and charges and interest rate gouging and electricity prices, but these arguably are side issues. While not strictly a competition issue, a parliamentary committee should be set up to tackle another great unexplored theme of Australian rock, namely how is it that Chisel were so great, but Barnesy on his own is so awful. And can someone jail Glenn A Baker for wearing that hat. Thewife and ex dilemma Got a question? Ask Bossy. No-holds-barred advice fromour agony aunt Kate de Brito ... advice your friends are too polite to give Whatwehave between us seems to have all the right sparks Facebook has reunited a man with his old flame, and he is now considering leaving his wife Ive found my old flame online and Im thinking of leaving my wife. What should I do? DEAR BOSSY: Ive been in a relationship for nine years. We have two children and another on the way. This might sound great, but its not. We make do and can get on, but its not a great relationship. Theres no passion and there hasnt been for many years. Weve just settled for each other. Recently things were getting better, but suddenly on Facebook an ex-girlfriend showed up. Ive been searching for this girl for 11 years. What we had back in the late 90s was really special and still gives me butterflies. We had a particularly unusual relationship, so we never had a nasty break up, and for 11 years weve been thinking about each other. She is engaged to someone. I never expected Id find her, and never thought shed feel this way, but we havent been able to stop talking for days and Im talking like 22 hours a day, messenger, SMS, Facebook and email. We even met face to face the other day (with one of her friends to keep an eye on us) and it was wonderful. This is taking its toll on our existing relationships and weve now crossed the line into complaining to each other about our partners. What we have between us seems to have all the right sparks. We lost each other because we followed our heads instead of our hearts. Should we follow our hearts now? BOSSY SAYS: You met an old flame on Facebook? You think you have a better chance of love with her than your wife? How original! What do you want me to say? Youll be doing the right thing by leaving your wife? That you deserve this happiness? That this woman is the answer to all your internal struggles and unhappiness? What I will say is, no one said marriage was easy. Or always satisfying. Or perennially exciting. What they did say was it was a stable way to raise children and live life. It has benefits and flaws. Thats the trade-off. You made a commitment to your wife. You are fortunate the law now enables you to break that commitment for no reason other than I dont want this any more. You dont paint a picture of a bad relationship. Just one thats lost its spark. Youve probably lost yours too. Family life is nothing if not exhausting. You feel the constant tug of what you want to do versus all the responsibility. What your wife wants to do. What you have to do to keep your children happy. You ask What about me?. Then you meet someone who offers an escape. When you see yourself with her do you imagine your toddlers whingeing around your legs? And the new baby up all night? I doubt it. You see yourself holding hands over lazy lunches while your ex is at home with three children on her own. While you are busy think ing how wonderful this new woman is and how happy you could be, youve probably overlooked many good things about your marriage. You do this when you have one foot out the door. No doubt these positive aspects will become apparent when you are trying to raise your children part-time. If you think family life is hard, try giving shared care a crack. Do you deserve to be happy? Sure. But is running off with some woman you have fantasised about from high school the answer? Probably not. Those sorts of affairs rarely are. Because you cant run from yourself. The emotional relationship youre having with this woman will lead to an affair. You need to decide now whether to leave your marriage or walk away from this woman. But realise this things are exciting with her now and might be for a few years. But dont fool yourself it will be like that always. Things invariably settle. Your situation may differ little in 10 years with her to how it is now with your wife. Im not saying some people arent better suited. We can be happier with some people. But often this is as much about where we are and our expectations than anything. You have a child on the way. You cant even comprehend how badly you would hurt your wife if you left. It is an eternal quandary in the search for happiness. You or her and your kids. Who deserves it more? SEND your problems to ntnews.com.au By emailing Ask Bossy you accept your question may also appear on the Ask Bossy blog. Questions cannot be answered privately.

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