The Northern Territory news Thu 13 May 2010
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16 Northern Territory News, Thursday, May 13, 2010 www.ntnews.com.au P U B : N T N E W S D A T E : 1 3 -M A Y -2 0 1 0 P A G E : 1 6 C O L O R : C M Y K firstname.lastname@example.org KYLIE STEVENSON Perhaps that sad looking bloke sagging in the gutter eating a kebab at 2am isnt an ejected drunk hes just really hot. Will Peter Pan and Wendy grow old disgracefully, Tinkerbell? he said, she said with Nick Calacouras and Kate Humphris HESAYS I sometimeswonder about what the future holds. According to themovieBack to the Futurewewill have flying DeLoreans and hoverboards by 2015. This, coincidentally, is the same year Treasury predicts theNorthern Territory will be out of deficit. At the end of the day, Im not sure of the accuracy of either prediction. But, just in case, I want the scientists working on the flying car technology as soon as possible. And, while they are at it, they should explain why Im not fulfilling a childhood dreamby spendingmy holidays onMars. I guess the future never turns out theway you expect. While wewill promise to love each other til death do us part, I have no ideawhat kind of people were going to be in the future. Will we still laugh at stupid jokes? Will we still use the broom to chasemoths out of the apartment? Andwill we still go to the comic book shop every weekend? I guess change is inevitable, but I hopewe dont lose toomuch as we grow old. My futuremother-in-law once noticedmy large number of superhero T-shirts and quietly commented: Do you think hell grow out of it? I hope not. SHESAYS I dont know if this is a result of turning 30, but Ive started to think about what type of old people well be. Of course, when I was 14 I thought 30was old. So I can already tell that awkward teenager that I will grow up to become a clumsywoman breaking twowine glasses and a plastic tumbler this last week alone. But looking forward is harder. Will I switchmy high heels for sensible shoes? Or can I learn to keep pot plants alive formore than aweek? He loves looking into the future. But I dont know howmuch of his visionwill be reality. Hes convinced that, likeMichael J. Fox inBack to the Future 2, were all going to be riding hover boards by 2015. Itll be wonderful to see a 30-something-year-oldman trying to keep upwith the kids down at the local skate park in a few years time. All Im hoping for is that we develop some of the better traits of our parents. That way, as we get older well be runningmarathonswhile preparing Michelin star quality food, then sitting out on the new deck, which we built ourselves. A little unrealistic perhaps? Maybe Ill go out and buymyself a hover board then. Outsides better than looking in The Broken Compass with Kylie Stevenson YOUmight think hes arrogant, but the predicament of Darwins ownDerek Zoolander explains a lot. He says hes been turfed out of pubs for being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking. I was at Shenannigans last weekend and it certainly appeared they had thrown out all the good lookingmen. Bouncers were only admitting guys in tight shirts who had spent an hour trying tomake their hair look as if they had just fallen out of bed, ormiddle-aged menwith inappropriate groping tendencies. So ladies, rather than rolling your eyes and casting judgement on this selfproclaimed man pie, lets use his story as a clue towhere Top End sheilas canmeet an attractivemate. According to himwe should stop looking inside the bars and start looking outside the bars. Perhaps that sad looking bloke sagging in the gutter eating a kebab at 2am isnt an ejected drunk hes just really hot. Maybe that unsteady fellow peeing aimlessly on the footpath actually has a killer Blue Steel. And the dude lying face down in a pool of vomit on Mitchell St if you take the time to roll him over youmight find he has stunning features and chiselled abs. Its a sad situation that gals may have to head outdoors in the hunt for amanwithout stupid hair and bright board shorts, but a useful tip for whichwe should all be grateful to Darwins own Derek. So hot right now. TXTS OF THE WEEK Ill have to start some fires atmy house so Tash can put themout topless.What a legend Thisminister Giles spent 80000 dollars of ourmoney just on travel last year? Thats about 140%ofmy year total earning.What a lavish scumbag. steve, palmo I hope the crocs attack the silly tourist swimming in their water. chris THEY SAID IT This is all a juggling act. So, do like Imdoing, go to both, you can go to both ChiefMinister Paul Henderson on the clash of BASSINTHEGRASSwith theMelbourne v Port Adelaide footymatch onSaturdayweek. Hopefully, hewill pay for his own tickets. TERRITORY MOMENT AFTER the election of a Greens candidate to the Darwin City Council, the Greens began talking about standing a northern suburbs candidate at the next Territory elections. Awink is as good as a nod and this week government pamphlets and letters extolling the virtues of theNT budget began appearing in letter boxes in the area. Budget 2010: Greening the Territory is the heading on one. Feeling threatened, folk? SLOW DOWN, MINISTER: Gerry McCarthy fronts the media after his recent speeding episode Rich stench spreads The Good Oil with Barry Doyle D EARMinister, for gawds sake be careful what you sign over the next fewmonths. If you thought, as Transport Minister, being caught speedingwas a bit of an embarrassment, another opportunity looms, which if mishandled couldmake you look like a complete goose. So, put on your Planning Ministers hat, GerryMcCarthy, and come on down. A proposal by Darwins wellknown Jape family to rezone and develop a 51ha area around Ludmilla could signal the end of an era for a tract of land currently administered by an indigenous association. Im talking, again, of the 301ha Crown lease in perpetuity granted in 1979 to Aboriginal people and administered by theGwalwa Daraniki Association (GDA). Simply, the GDA through actions and inaction is in breach of the conditions of its lease. If youwant to nitpick, it probably has been so for about 20 years. Recently, the GDAwith the help of some pretty smart lawyers rewrote its constitution to fundamentally change its role from guardians of the land tomanagers. To over-simplify, this gives the association room to take part in the commercial development of the land, via partnerships or sub-leases, and pocket the gains. TheGDAs role is nowmore that of landlord or joint property developer than trustees of the land for various Aboriginal interests. Care of country has evolved into show us themoney. Enter the Japes, through their companyCitiland, and their proposal to rezone a 23ha area from Conservation Zone to three precincts: light industrial, medium residential andmultiple dwelling. That translates to a light industrial zone and about 250 dwellings. TheGDAwould be a partner in the venture, providing the land. If the venture is approved, the Japeswould hold a fair whack of the available Kulaluk lease on the landbound side of DickWardDrive. Meanwhile, across the road, on the Darwin Harbour side of the lease, Gwelo Developments architects of the ambitious but (so far) rejected Arafura Harbour development have paid for and still hold a caveat on any future development there. Effectively, the two groups have tied up large tracts of the Kulaluk lease between them if any development is approved by a scribble of your pen,Minister. And this is where you come in, Minister, because the rich soup of stench from the nearby sewage treatment works,mangroves and oil-soaked racetrack seems to be spreading up the road. The first thing you can do is step in and put a hold on all planned developments for the area. If parts of the land are to be developed, it needs an overall strategy rather than allowing bits to be chewed up piecemeal and amishmash spat out. In a custodial role, the GDA is out of its depth. It either needs help or, if its decided that it cannot do the job assigned, it should be abolished and other arrangementsmade. Inmaking a decision,Minister, it would bewise to investigate just who the GDA represents. A good starting point would be theGDAs annual reports for the past few years. Im sure YOU can find them.
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