Territory Stories

Sunday Territorian 21 Nov 2021

Details:

Title

Sunday Territorian 21 Nov 2021

Collection

Sunday Territorian; NewspaperNT

Date

2021-11-21

Language

English

Subject

Community newspapers -- Northern Territory -- Darwin.; Australian newspapers -- Northern Territory -- Darwin.

Publisher name

News Corp Australia

Place of publication

Darwin

File type

application/pdf

Use

Copyright. Made available by the publisher under licence.

Copyright owner

News Corp Australia

License

https://www.legislation.gov.au/Details/C2019C00042

Parent handle

https://hdl.handle.net/10070/856292

Citation address

https://hdl.handle.net/10070/856388

Page content

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 21 2021 NEWS 13 V1 - NTNE01Z01MA thought for a moment that it would become an issue. I was just excited and honoured to be asked. HM: Did you ever contemplate retiring completely, as opposed to resigning as captain? TP: No, I didnt actually. Resign, or dont resign they were the alternatives. I was tossing up. I wasnt going to retire. Id been pretty clear I wanted to keep playing, and potentially finish after this Ashes series. I see that as the ultimate high, to be able to finish your test career after winning an Ashes series in Australia. Thats the dream. Thats what I want to do. HM: Can you carry this burden into an Ashes series? TP: Yep, Im sure I can. HM: Was it your call to resign, or were you pushed? TP: No, it was mine and mine alone. It was hard, but I know its the right thing to do. HM: Did any senior officials try to talk you out of resigning? TP: No, no they didnt. None. I had plenty of people that I talked to, that I respect, who wanted me to stay in the role, and thought I should have but, for all the reasons weve talked about, I thought, no, I knew it was the right thing to do by everyone. HM: How have your teammates and the coach been? TP: They have been unbelievably supportive. JL (Justin Langer) told me hes devastated. He was pretty firm that he wanted me to continue as captain, and again, once I explained to him the reasons that I thought resigning was the best thing to do, he was with me all the way. Ive got messages from all my teammates saying theyve got my back, and that we all make mistakes, and we move on. HM: How many knew? TP: None, I dont think. HM: Wow! You didnt share it with them to try to help yourself through it as a couple, or individually? BP: Tim didnt want to. He felt so embarrassed he didnt want anyone to know. TP: I only told a couple of people, but with most things where I have been wrong, or done the wrong thing, Id just held it all to myself, and tried to fight my way through it all, which is actually bloody unhealthy. BP: You telling me was a huge progression for us. You kept everything so secretive prior to that. TP: Yeah, I did. Bonnie has helped me through that. She has shown me I need to own up to mistakes to become a better person, father, husband, son. For years, I bottled everything up, and thats why sometimes I do stupid things. I didnt ask for help, I didnt tell people how I was feeling. Bonnie has been good at helping me change that. BP: Weirdly, this mess has actually helped our relationship. I cant believe I am saying that ... TP: I know ... I agree, but it does sound crazy saying that! Since that conversation over three years ago, a strengthening of open honesty between the two of us, our marriage, relationship, bond, trust, has continued to strengthen. HM: It seems from getting caught, it has been transformational in a weird way. TP: Yeah, it did. It has. Its a completely different relationship now. Ive made a lot of mistakes, and this is as big as it gets, but Im not afraid to address them with Bonnie anymore. I used to be. I felt I had to be perfect. I now know I wont get it all right, but when I am wrong, we talk about it and try to work on getting it right. I feel much freer, and Im grateful for a second chance from Bon to be able to feel like this. CRICKETS SEXTING SCANDAL FORGIVE, REBUILD HM: I imagine it must have been tempting to take the chance that it didnt come out. It must have been one of the more confronting things youve ever done in your life. TP: Its the hardest thing Ive done. I saw this as an opportunity to put everything on the table. Im extremely lucky that Ive got an amazing wife whos forgiving, strong, and beautiful. I feel blessed that shes taken everything on board, accepted it, and still loves me and wants to move on. BP: Ive just been listening and been reflecting on when you told me about it all, and although I was shocked, and really upset, I did actually have huge admiration for you for telling me to my face. That really built a strong part of our relationship. Although I had mixed emotions, and I felt betrayed, and I felt hurt, upset, and I felt pissed off, I also had feelings of gratitude because he was being so honest with me. I thought ok ... do I walk? Or forgive and rebuild? I chose the latter. HM: Were you always going to get through this as a couple? BP: No, I couldnt say that with any certainty. But Tim proved himself to me during that time. TP: I wasnt so sure. HM: You wanted it to work, but you werent sure if Bon would stay? TP: Exactly. Id made mistakes, I absolutely wanted in, but I wasnt sure she was going to stick around. BP: It was a terrible time. It was a time that would have been tough even if things were good. We had just had a little girl, I was pregnant again, and Id just lost my Dad. I was in a really vulnerable situation already. The thought of ending my relationship on top of all of that was too much. Maybe that was a fortunate thing. I stayed, and he earned my trust back over time. HM: The broader family how have they been affected by this? BP: The kids have no idea, there are luckily blissfully unaware. My mum and my sister already knew, because I told them at the time, so this isnt a shock for them. They are just supporting me, and Tim, and they know that we have moved on and we are strong. Theyve been the cornerstones of our support. They helped me move on. HM: Bonnie, how did you learn to forgive? BP: No one is perfect. Youve got to give people second chances. It was never a question of love; we have always loved each other deeply. It was hard, he has forgiven me for things, and people have forgiven me in my past, so I just felt I owed it to Tim to try to forgive. HM: Did you watch the press conference today, Bonnie? BP: Yes. It broke my heart to be honest. Its sad that he felt he had to step down as captain over it, and I just think thats unfair. I felt sad for him. HM: Not many people have to admit to a mistake of such magnitude in front of the world. TP: No. It was challenging, it can be bloody hard in the public eye, but I made the mistake, I had to own it. HM: What was your lowest point? TP: Having to tell Bonnie about how I had betrayed her. I think about that now and I still cringe. How could I hurt someone so badly that has given me so much? Unforgivable. BP: As hard as it was for you, it was also a weight off your shoulders. TP: Yeah, it was. It was a life-shaping moment. She knows stuff about me that no one knows, and luckily for me, she still loves me. HM: What does tomorrow look like? BP: The weight is off our shoulders. Today was worse than what tomorrow could be, surely. I hope so anyway. TP: Its hard to say, because we have never been through this. BP: The amount of support we have been shown from our friends, it makes me feel like we are really lucky, and they have our backs. There are worse things in the world. HM: What worries you most now, Tim, outside of your relationship with Bonnie? What concerns you? Are you worried about playing cricket this week? Going down to the coffee shop? Your legacy? TP: It all does, it all worries me. Reconnecting back into life is going to be daunting. I will be hiding a bit. Im embarrassed, its overwhelming and its going to be a real challenge. HM: This morning you were the lauded Australian Test captain. Now, you are not. Life changes quickly. For better, and worse. TP: It does. I know I will have to carry this with me for the rest of my life. Every time I walk into a room from now on, I know what people will be thinking. And that is embarrassing, and it hurts, deep down. Im not sure that will ever fade. I hope it does, but the person that is most important to me is Bonnie, and she now knows the worst of me. But somehow, she sees the best in me. I feel very fortunate and lucky that she is so forgiving, and hope shes going to stick by me. BP: I will. HM: All of us are learning every day. Whats the big learning? TP: Wow ... respect all around you, and all that you have. Dont lose sight of how lucky you are to have those in your life that love you. Avoid temptation and dont be an idiot, and dont take what youve got for granted. Remain respectful and grateful. HM: What have you taken out of this mess, Bonnie? BP: I was pissed off for a long time! At the time, my grief for my dad was more powerful than being angry at Tim. I learnt that I could forgive someone. I never thought I was strong enough to forgive someone, to move past it, and stick with them. Ive learnt the skill of forgiveness, which is really difficult. My trust was a bit shattered from it and learning to try and trust again, was a process. Tim and Bonnie Paine say their relationship has grown stronger in the aftermath of the text exchange furore. I N S I D E T O D A Y HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN SACKED: CA TIME TO QUIT TESTS: WARNE SPORT LIFTOUT STARTS P39


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